Okay, so I’m back. I’m sorry I’ve not been here but I’ve been busy you know. Busy watching movies, scouring the earth for hot babe celebrities that I will never even meet and you know, hanging out with my real girlfriend. But that’s okay. At least I’ve got my movies. You know; Mean Girls, Dear John, Mamma Mia, Jennifer’s Body. I like these films. Why? Maybe these are great films. Or maybe they feature THIS AMAZING BABE.
I remember first watching Mean Girls in the days of babe Lindsay Lohan and not being very impressed by the dumb Mean Girl who I think ends up being a lesbian in the end? Anyway, she was forgettable. Then I saw her in Big Love and I was like “ohhh yeah”. Then I saw her in Mamma Mia and I was like “Yeaaaahhh?”, then I saw her in Jennifer’s Body and I said “Okay yep.” Then I saw in Dear John and was like “YEP. SURE. SIGN ME UP. WHENEVER.”
She’s a grower you know. I have rule with albums that I’m not that into. Listen to them five times in a row and if by the end of five times, I still don’t like it, I’m probably not ever gonna like it. I think Amanda Seyfried is one of those albums. First time I was like “ah yeah, bit disappointing but I’ll get over it.” Second time: “I suppose there’s a few catchy things about her” Third Time: “Oh wow I didn’t get it the first time round.” Fourth time: “There’s so many great things about this.” Fifth time: “I’M NEVER PAYING ATTENTION TO ANYTHING ELSE EVER AGAIN.”
I can’t wait to meet her and tell her “YOUR BEAUTY IS LIKE LISTENING TO AN ALBUM THAT FIRST YOU THINK IS SHIT BUT THEN IT’S GOOD. By the way, Dear John is the shittest film I’ve ever seen… thoughts?” It’s true romance from me. Currently giving myself a pat on the back for that one. Ah who cares, LOOK AT HER.
Sure, she is weird looking. But it’s that alien kinda weird looking. Like Gemma Watts I’m-a-freaky-alien-look-a-like-weird-looking (BITCH GONNA EAT MY HEART WHILE STILL BEATING). But that said, my favourite eyes are eyes as big as dinner plates you know? It makes the iris look like a delicious dark chocolate cake right? Right? Right?
IMA EAT YOUR IRISES SEYFRIED.
Probably the most romantic thing I’ll ever say.
Amanda Seyfried, be my girlfriend.