Beyonce
Dayum girl! Where you from? Where you going? Where you at? Who you be?
Beyonce, you’re a babe. You win. You’re amazing.
But, you know, it’s weird. For a little while there I was like,
“Nah, Rhianna is better. Beyonce’s not THAT hot.”
INCORRECT.
LOOK AT HER.
Seriously, I recently just re-watched that Austin Powers movie she’s in and I know this is obvious but seriously she is so smoking hot in that film I reverted back to a childhood state just watching her prance around. I seriously put on a nappy and started drinking milk out of a bottle. You can understand if you just LOOK AT HER IN THIS FILM ARRGGHHHH.
Seriously I don’t know how else I can say it, Beyonce is fuckin’ BANGING.
Face of a supermodel.
Body of a fucking Amazonian princess.
Personality of the sassy black woman that she is.
Shit yeah, she’s a babe.
You know what else is great? If Beyonce was my girlfriend, I would essentially be Jay-Z. 99 Problems but a bitch ain’t one and all that business. I could finally live my dream of being a massively successful, not to mention awesome, gangsta rapper. I could wear Yankees caps and not have people yell out,
“OI FRED DURST, WHERE’S THE HOT DOG FLAVOURED WATER?”
I could call women bitchez and no one would say,
“That’s really demeaning you know.”
I could drive a Bentley, use the word nigga and spell all my wordz with z’s and a’s.
I WOULD BE KING.
Also, I’d be going home every night to one of the most amazing women in the world.
I could probably also shoot people and someone would just COVER IT UP because I’M A COOL MOTHERFUCKA.
I bet Beyonce would give great shoulder massages as well.
Not to mention, Single Ladies is such a great fucking song.
Holy shit bitch, I’ll put a ring on it. ASAP.
Beyonce, be my girlfriend.
