Oh you crazy Jewish Princess. I love you so much. You are wonderful. You are that kind of down-to-earth-girl pretty which makes chubby beardos like me feel comfortable, but get you in a gown or some shit and you are a fucking babe. Plus you are funny as shit.
When I first saw Sarah Silverman in The Aristocrats, I knew she was a keeper. She does that whole spiel about how she used to practice in that agent’s office and it was private time and then she makes the joke about him raping her. I know it sounds bad because “rape isn’t funny” (THANKS FEMMOS!) but it is seriously the funniest joke in the whole movie. Watch it and you’ll understand why.
And then, I saw her nominated at The Emmys in 2009 and fell in love. True love.
WATCH THE VIDEO HERE.
I know what you’re saying…
“You fell in love with Sarah Silverman while she was wearing a moustache? That’s not love Dom, that’s just you being a homosexual.”
HA HA HA HA HA OH YOU! WHY WOULD I…? WHO’S THE…. HAHA…. WHAT!?1 I’M NOT !!!
SHUT UP YOU ARE FUCKING… A KIDDER… I’M NOT……….
LOOK AT HER!
I mean, she’s no Rachel McAdams or Miranda Kerr, but she’s got that funny jew girl thing going on and she sorta always looks like she just got out of bed. Which, when you think about it, is pretty hot.
Seriously, Sarah Silverman, WHAT THE FUCK IS UP?
You know what she is? She’s definitely like the character out of a movie who is “the funny best friend girl of the main character who never thinks about her as a love interest until suddenly one night they get drunk and wake up in bed together and realise that she’s been the one all along but then she’ll freak out and run away but eventually he finds her in a booth of their favourite bar linking back to many sequences in the movie and they’ll fall in love and live happily ever after”.
Shit. I just leaked the synopsis of my new secret screenplay.
Please don’t judge me.
Sarah Silverman, be my girlfriend.